Some days I wonder if there are any good men in the world. I’m sure plenty of you have wondered the same thing from time to time. It seems like there are a million bad ones and every once in a while a good one gets thrown into the mix. Needless to say I’ve dated a few bad apples since my divorce. For some reason I tend to go for men who are very much like my ex husband. Maybe it’s just what I’m used to.
When I had been divorced for about six months I met a guy who everybody knew was bad news. My mother warned me early on that she had a very bad feeling about this one, and she wasn’t the only one that felt that way. Several people had mentioned concerns to her, but he was saying all of the right things to me so I blew off the concerns and continued to pursue things. As things progressed I started to see some red flags popping up. He would say things I had heard before and I could feel him tearing me down piece by piece, but I think I was so afraid of being alone, that I stayed anyways. Then all of the sudden things changed. Almost overnight I saw what everyone else had been seeing from the beginning. I started to relive my marriage. Luckily, it was enough for me to get out. In the end it turned out that he was significantly worse than my ex husband was. He caused me more grief than I could have ever imagined. Things turned pretty nasty.
So how do you keep yourself from falling for the same things again? How do you protect yourself from these men who are so detrimental to you and your children? This is something I’ve struggled with for years, I fall for the same old thing time and time again. Remember that you are worth it. Remember that you have little children counting on you to make a good decision, not only for you, but for them. Don’t settle for less than a good guy. Be patient and make sure the relationship is right. If red flags come up, get out. You don’t want to end up in another bad marriage simply because you chose to ignore the warning signs. You and your children deserve better than that so don’t settle for less!