By the time I had my first baby my experience with infants was holding my friend’s baby for a few minutes each time I visited. I knew basically nothing so I was worried about how to handle a baby. Ironically, this inexperience and ignorance gave me the patience I would need to handle my fussy bundle. It did not surprise me that she cried. I figured that was what babies did. So for the first few months other than a few bumps in the road with nursing I was doing fine. Then the fussiness increased and I became weary and defeated.
My fussy baby cried when she was hungry and tired just like any other baby. Yet unlike any other baby she cried in line at the grocery store, if we stayed more than an hour at a friend’s house, in the car, out of the car, and worst of all in restaurants. I felt like I could no longer leave my house. My life was stressful if I tried living it outside of my home but staying in, while lonely, was at least less stressful. I could handle the crying if I was not in public. I hated disturbing everyone’s peace and frankly I was embarrassed. I also felt like I was failing as a mom. There were times when we were out and I would cry because she would start to cry. All of a sudden being social was not something I felt comfortable with. I would see moms with babies in tow while they shopped, ate with friends in a restaurant, or worked out. I could not leave my baby with anyone or she would scream. I could not go anywhere for every long or she would scream. It was hard so I learned to stay home and for the most part I was content. She was happier and that made me happier.
I want to encourage mothers of fussy babies that the phase does end. I know it seems like an eternity. I know you are weary, lonely and feel defeated. My husband once told me, “Your job is not to keep her from crying.” I didn’t understand that when he said it but eventually it sunk in. It was comforting. I am not one to leave a crying baby to cry but knowing that I did not fail because I did not make it stop was comforting. She is now 14 years old and a wonderful girl. So you see, it does end and oddly you will miss those sweet first months. Perhaps you will not miss the crying but the experience is precious. Live in the moment and be grateful and it will get easier.