It’s a revelation every married woman fears: a husband who’s no longer physically attracted to her. So much so that he wants out of the marriage entirely.
That’s what Jeana Keough, one of the stars of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County, admitted to her friend Tammy on a recent episode. Her husband of 20 years, Matt, not only thought she was fat but was disgusted by her and it’s one of the reasons for their split.
While they may have had a long marriage by today’s standards, it sure didn’t sound like it was happy. Worse, it sounded like the reason they even got together in the first place was purely physical. After all, Jeana’s gorgeous.
Okay, so she may not be in Playboy prime shape like she was when they first met 20 something years ago. Two decades and three kids will do that to a woman. Did Matt honestly expect her not to age or change?
Who knows? We weren’t privy to his side. But for the past three seasons we’ve been privy to Jeana’s pre-separation life. Matt’s clearly been distant the whole time. He doesn’t participate in her life at all. And the times he has was begrudgingly and for seconds at best.
Then come to find out they’ve been like that most of the marriage. Once her first son was born, sex went by the wayside and they slipped into a pattern of simply coexisting together. When he was home. His job in baseball had him on the road for at least six months out of the year.
But now they’ve come to an impasse where it’s not possible to even simply coexist together anymore. There’s no attraction on his part, but even worse, there’s no respect for Jeana.
I think many fans of the show wondered why they’d stayed together so long. Jeana may not have always expressed it verbally, but it was clear she longed for a husband who participated more and who was more of a companion.
This same issue has cropped up in the Forums lately too. (See: I Love You But There’s Nothing There and I’m Not Attracted to My Wife….)
I don’t advocate divorce in most cases, but in this case I do. Like another Families.com member said in one of their responses to a similar issue: you can’t manufacture attraction.
Nor can you force yourself to be attractive. You either spark someone’s interest or you don’t.
I happen to think Jeana’s incredibly beautiful and sexy and I don’t think she’ll have any trouble finding men who will feel the same.
For anyone else who finds themselves with a mate who doesn’t see them in all their beautiful glory, there’s no sense sticking around and wasting it on them. Better to cut anchor and sail on. The sea of life’s way too big not to find someone else who will find you attractive just the way you are. And life’s too short not to be with that person.
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