Ever have one of those irrational moments as a parent? The kind where you are so oblivious to how you are handling things that you are sure everyone else is crazy? Last week I had one of those.
It was my son’s first official day of work. Up until then he had gone for either orientation or training but on his first official day he would be working a full five hours. He was supposed to text me when he got to work and text me when he was leaving. He was also supposed to come home and change before he went to another event.
However he didn’t text me when he got to work. I had to assume he made it since no one called asking where he was. That was the first deposit into my irrational moment.
So five hours go by and I can’t wait to hear how his first day went. He was supposed to end work at 7 p.m. At 7:09 I sent him a text asking if he was done working. He responded at 7:14 p.m., “I’m out.” So I waited. It should have taken him 15 minutes at the most to get home. But 15 minutes went by.
Then half an hour went by and I was trying really hard to not worry. So I called him…no answer. I then went into the bathroom and heard the house phone ringing. My youngest son was about a foot away from the phone and yet it kept ringing.
By the time I made it out of the bathroom it had stopped. I began to yell at my son for not answering. Didn’t he know that it could have been someone important, maybe had something to do with why his brother wasn’t home yet? I just kind of got that “yeah, okay, whatever” look.
But that just set me off. Suddenly I was convinced something had happened. I am pacing the house, looking out the window and waiting to see the garage door open. Then it is 45 minutes later and despite repeated attempts to contact him, I don’t know where he is.
So now I am in full-fledged irrational mode. I stormed out of the house, got into my van and drove off to find him. I went the way I thought he might have gone. Meanwhile I am calling my husband at work and in an almost screeching voice telling him that something has happened to our son.
He didn’t respond the way I wanted him to. He was acting like everything was fine. He asked me a completely unrelated question and I think if I could have reached through that phone and strangled him, I would have. After yelling at him, I ended up hanging up on him.
I am now halfway to my son’s job when my husband calls me back. Apparently our son decided to not come home and change first; he went straight to the next thing. I asked my husband how he knew and he said he called him. Now I’m livid. I have called our son a dozen times and sent him a couple of text messages…my husband calls and on the first try gets him???
My husband goes on to say that our son told him he tried calling me. Well I have no missed calls so I am really mad. Driving home I am just replaying all of this in my mind and getting more and more worked up. I attempt to back our van into the garage, smacking the side mirror and then backing up too far and hitting the wall. I got out of the van and stopped. It suddenly dawned how completely irrational I was acting.
I told myself to take a chill pill and breathe. I know that things could have been handled better with my son, both on his end and mine. But it really showed me how easily I can erupt into an irrational moment.
I sometimes let worry consume me when it comes to my kids and this was a demonstration of how pointless it really is. It didn’t hurt anyone else but me. Was it wrong to be concerned about my son’s whereabouts? No, it wasn’t. Was it wrong the way I chose to go off the deep end about it? Yes, I think so.
I have a long road ahead of me. I think I better get a grip on myself.
What about you? Ever experience your own irrational moment as a parent?
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