When you get married, it’s not atypical to see your spouse at their worst. Unlike when you’re dating, primping is no longer a priority. But there’s a difference between being comfortable without makeup and sitting around in your grungy clothes and letting yourself go. So what do you do if your spouse is letting him or herself go?
- External changes are usually indicative of internal changes. If you are the one who has done the changing, consider when and how it became okay in your own mind to be less fun, less attractive, less outgoing or in some way less than you were before you got married?
- Other questions to ask yourself or your spouse are about what is going on with them? Are they feeling differently? Are they having problems with their confidence or motivation? Are they depressed?
- Whether it’s you or your spouse that’s changed, don’t be ashamed of who they or you are. Who you are today is who you are. If you are not happy with that person, then it’s about taking a long look at yourself and addressing what is making you unhappy or depressed
- If the issues are psychological, then address those psychological problems. Don’t try to make yourself feel better with food or other unhealthy habits
- If there are issues between you and your spouse that may be causing problems in talking to each other, put those issues on the table and talk about them – sometimes it only needs one of you to open the floor for discussion
- Good relationships are based on friendships, about pleasing each other and enjoying each other – if you are not interested in pleasing yourself or your spouse and you are not enjoying each other, it may be time to look at why
- When we’re single, we’re all about wanting to impress others, getting married doesn’t mean you don’t have to impress your spouse anymore, so consider how you would feel if they were just letting themselves go and make an effort to impress each other again
- It’s not atypical for new parents, especially new mothers to let themselves go, because they are overwhelmed and exhausted – help your spouse out by making sure they get some downtime to themselves
Have you or your spouse ever let yourselves go?
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