Motherhood has many challenges and tribulations—and, while I expected some, and I’ve gotten used to plenty of others—one of the realities that I did not expect and I haven’t gotten used to is the philosophy my children seem to have that all of my possessions are really community property available for the “family’s” use…
Now, granted, I don’t have a lot of stuff that is NOT family property. Even though I covet my bread machine and my collection of fun and fancy dishes—they really are for everyone. That goes as well for all the books, pillows, furniture, art work and any other household item that inhabits our house. BUT, I do have my own bedroom where I keep my jewelry, music, mementos, etc. I’ve been pretty clear about establishing which of my “stuff” are personal possessions and yet, still, my kids seem to think that my earrings, scarves, a sweater, or (and this one really makes me crabby) my make-up is available in the community pot.
Now that I write this, I realize that I’m not really taking issue with all my kids; I’m mostly taking issue with my daughters! They are the ones who pilfer my foundation or favorite eye shadow, or sneak into my jewelry box for just that perfect pair of earrings. Some of the time, I don’t even know it has happened, but other times I’ll go to “put my face on” (as my mother always called it when I was growing up) and reach for the foundation that is always in the exact same spot and grab a handful of air! Then, the grumbling and crabbiness ensue.
A good friend of mine who has raised and launched her daughter and is now a grandmother told me recently that one of the things she was most enjoying about living alone was that she could leave something of hers in one place and know that it would be there when she got home in the evenings. She mused with the appreciation of a woman who’s been there—“All my stuff stays my stuff.” Ah, I can take some comfort in knowing that my turn will come and, hopefully, my possessions will cease to be viewed as community property.
See Also: You Can Sit Here…But Don’t Talk to Me and Me Time