Lately I’ve been reading a lot of books with a similar theme: the Law of Attraction. I have to say I believe there’s something to it.
For instance, I set out on a mission this year with the intention of making the most of marriage. Several months later I get an email inviting me to participate in a book blog tour. I was game, so I accepted. Two days later Trading Places: The Best Move You’ll Ever Make in Your Marriage arrives in my mailbox.
That book provided a wealth of information and answered many questions I’ve had. Namely, what’s the secret for a long lasting marriage?
I believed there was one, I asked what it was, and I went in search of the answer believing there would be one. The Universe answered. I believe I was given, if not the secret, a very crucial component to it.
It’s called empathy.
That’s right. A rather small, unassuming word with enormous implications for a happy marriage.
Empathy in a Nutshell
The book emphasizes the importance of being able to step outside yourself and really understand what it is your spouse needs. To empathize with their feelings, situation, frustration. To look at life through their eyes.
In doing so, you’ll better be able to put yourself in their shoes and act on what they really need, not just what you think they need.
Source of My Dissatisfaction
The trouble with this book was it opened my eyes to a source of dissatisfaction in my own marriage. Namely how Wayne is not as empathetic towards me as I am towards him.
However, the authors anticipated such marital arrangements and offered suggestions throughout the book and in appendices for how to bring more empathy into any relationship. You can bet I’ve been putting their suggestions to the test recently!
My Only Regret
In the book, the authors talked about a contraption fathers-to-be can wear that mimics pregnancy pains. After wearing it, the majority of fathers-to-be are a lot more empathetic to their wives’ conditions.
It immediately brought to mind an article I had once written: The PMS Pill for Men.
I was really torn about which question to ask for my one question, so when I made my submission I asked the rep I was dealing with if the authors could answer another too. About whether they knew if there was any PMS gizmo to encourage empathy like the pregnancy contraption did.
Sadly it wasn’t possible to get that answer, but I had to try.
Maybe that will be the next question the Universe answers for me!