Do you like to watch late night television? Do you like to listen to love songs? Do you enjoy classic films? Do you love to read romance novels? I am not ashamed to admit that I love to do all of these things and just like watching a Disney production of Cinderella and seeing the …happily ever after, we are binging on an image of marriage that likely never was.
Shows like Ozzie and Harriet, Bewitched, and The Donna Reed Show showed us families that consisted of mom and dad. They showed us that they didn’t have real problems like we experience. They showed us their kids were well-rounded and didn’t do drugs or drink alcohol. They showed us that there was no fear of dropping out of school. They showed us that social pressure really didn’t exist. They also showed us that dad brought home the bacon and mom cooked it up and the very idea of divorce, infidelity and harsh arguments were anathema.
These images and ideas are wonderful and they so unrealistic that they can often make us feel inadequate and search for ways in our modern life to undo the damage we’ve done. These myth based images can prevent us from finding real fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives.
Myths such as:
- Marriage ends loneliness
- Marriage makes us complete as human beings
- Marriage is for everyone
- Marriage precludes infidelity unless you are weak
- Marriage is the obvious result of romance
- Marriage will make everyone happy
- Marriage solves problems
These myths about marriage sound great. But their very unrealistic and they can lead us to overwhelming ourselves and setting ourselves up for failure. If we do not have this fairy tale or traditional marriage – there must be something wrong with us. Maybe the problem is that we are comparing ourselves to a myth and myths by their very nature do not allow for reality.