Many of us single parents have an ex-spouse or co-parent who we need to work with in the process of raising our children. Good or bad, adequate working relationship or not, we still have to find a way to negotiate (and often times, renegotiate) which parent is going to take care of what. This can be anything but an easy, comfortable task!
I’m speaking from experience when I admit that even the best laid plans can go awry. I tend to be a painfully organized person when it comes to paperwork and agreements, and just because it is written down and/or agreed upon, does not mean that it will actually play out the way it was agreed. That said, it’s still worth our time and effort as single parents to try to have conversations and agreements around which parent will be responsible for what.
Here are some examples of “negotiable” topics: which parent will attend school conferences (or both); who is responsible for taking and picking up from soccer practice, music lessons, and karate; who will pay for braces (my ex and I split it in half and one paid for the first year and the other paid for the second year); who makes doctor’s and dentist’s appointments; who pays for school pictures; who attends school fundraisers; etc. There are so many aspects of parenting that can be included in negotiation.
It may seem like it is too much hassle, BUT the good part is that the children benefit when both parents are involved and active, and things are running smoothly because of the cooperation. Our kids have a right to expect that we will take care of the parenting details and they will be able to just be kids. It may take sitting down and having a meeting in order to make sure things are covered, or you may be able to take care of it with an e-mail and/or a phone call. And, be prepared for the inevitable need to renegotiate as our children’s lives change and the parents’ lives change too.
See Also: You May Need Agreements, Contracts, and Established Meetings and Thinking of the Other Parent as a Business Partner