Many of us look forward to the holiday season because there are many opportunities to spend time with family. Of course, when families make plans to gather there is the potential for conflict. Whether there is a history of tension between certain family members or not, planning a gathering for a group can bring out both the best and the worst in people. Here are a few tips for handling holiday scheduling headaches if they do arise.
Many holiday conflicts occur before the date of the actual family gathering, as family units have to make scheduling decisions about which relatives to visit and when. The competition for your presence can be fierce among relatives, especially if you have one or more children in your household. Many families adopt holiday schedules where they visit one set of the children’s grandparents on Thanksgiving and another on Christmas. You can alternate each year so that no one complains that they never see you on a specific holiday. Also, if you happen to enjoy entertaining and some relatives live nearby, consider hosting a gathering for one of the holidays and visiting out of town relatives for the other.
Remember that even when you come up with a schedule that works well for your family, taking into account school and work schedules, other holiday activities, where your relatives live, and of course the family budget, your relatives will not always be satisfied with the plan that you have devised. It is okay for you to politely explain to these relatives that you have thought it through carefully and have decided what works for your family based on a number of different things. If they say hurtful things, tell them that you are sorry that they feel that way and stick to your plan. It is not always possible to please everyone and you could cause yourself and your family more stress by trying to cater to the desires of everyone else.