We’ve all heard of those couples who claim they’ve been married x number of years and never had an argument. To my mind that’s not healthy.
No two people are in tune all the time. What it sounds like to me when people claim to never have disagreements are either, they are fooling themselves or trying to fool others. Or that one person is repressing their own thoughts and opinions all the time for the sake of peace. Peace and unity is great, but not when one person is afraid to air their opinions.
The main thing when you do disagree is to do it in such a way that it does not damage the relationship. That means continuing to show love and respect for your spouse.
It means listening to them even though you may think they’re wrong. I mean really listening not just pretending to and jumping in and soon as you can with your counter argument. It means considering what they are saying and seeing what is valid.
Most disagreements occur because we never try and put ourselves in the other person’s position, or try and see it from their point of view. Another problem is when we don’t actually listen to what they are saying because we are too intent on putting our own point of view forward.
Sometimes you might even find when you disagree that your spouse will bring up things you had not thought of before and that you need to consider. If we try and take notice of what is said during disagreements it can benefit our marriage in the long run.
It does all of us good to be challenged at times about what we think and why we think that or the way we act and whether it can be improved or changed. It’s often in the disagreements we learn more about ourselves and who better to lovingly reveal a few home truths than your spouse? Love doesn’t mean being blind or silent.
Related articles