Hopefully we’ve all had some good family time over the holidays. As we plow through the back-to-school chaos and re-enter our normal lives, here are my ideas for New Year’s Resolutions. Some of them may seem contradictory, but “all good things in moderation”. Why not pencil in one at the start of each month’s calendar page and make sure it happens sometime that month?
1.Talk to your kids about adoption.
This doesn’t have to be a sit-down “big talk”. Just make a little comment or reference here and there like, “I wonder if your musical talent came from your birthfather.” Sometimes your child will pick up on the comment, sometimes he won’t. But he’ll know you are comfortable talking about adoption when he needs to.
2.Have a week go by where you don’t talk about adoption.
Obviously this will depend on where you are in your adoption process and on your kids’ ages. What I mean here is not to go to the opposite extreme and talk about adoption all the time. Adoption issues are an important part of our lives, but being an adoptive parent or adoptee does not define you or your child.
3.Celebrate some aspect of your children’s heritage.
This could be a holiday, art or music of the culture, or a famous person of that culture.
4.Celebrate a shared tradition your family has in common.
Reinforce that your child, while having his/her own heritage, is also a part of your family.
5.Talk to people about your adoption experience.
Let’s help spread the word that adoption is a beautiful way to build a family!
6.Make sure that you are not always talking about your adoption experience, especially in your child’s presence.
Let’s show others that our families are in most ways the same as all families.
7. Spend some relaxed time every day with your child.
8. Spend time with adult friends, and especially with your spouse.
9. Talk with your child about her school friendships.
10.Respect your child’s right to privacy and ability to handle things.
All kids go through a phase where their answer to “what happened in school today?” is “nothing”. If something is wrong socially, give your child ideas for what he/she might say. Of course, step in if there is gross bullying or bigotry. But a child will gain confidence from handling minor issues herself.
11. Write a thank-you letter to someone who helped in your adoption process or your child’s care.
12. Thank your children for being themselves and thank God for making them.
See related blogs:
5 New Year’s Resolutions Every Parent Should Make
New Year’s Resolutions – A Family Challenge