Frequent nursing is definitely a sign of the high need baby. If you are one of those parents who thinks that you have it all figured out and “know” how to put kids to bed–I would politely suggest to you that you do not, nor have ever had, a high need baby. Babies who are high need during the day, who need to be near you, and who need to nurse all day long. . .are also high need babies at night.
If you can sleep through the nursing, and are comfortable with your co-sleeping arrangement, then it is fine to continue nursing at night–even into toddler hood. You will have to ignore Mrs. Jones next door who claims her child was sleeping through the night as early as 6 weeks, but you can rest assured that although you are meeting your baby’s needs at night–he will eventually sleep through the night.
If on the other hand, you are so sleep deprived you are barely functioning the next day and your relationship with the other family members has complete deteriorated–there’s a problem. If you are beginning to resent the all night buffet, you need to help your high need one change his ways.
Breastfeed More Often During the Day
Busy babies and toddlers have so much to do that they forget to stop and nurse. However, at night, there you are and visions of the all night nursing buffet begin to illuminate your baby’s dreams and your little one wants to make up for lost time. (This is very common when mothers go back to work.) By stopping to nurse more often during the day, breastfeeding may become less attractive at night.
Wear Your Baby or Toddler in a Sling During the Day
Night time nursing, especially for high need babies, is like the safety of the bird’s nest. You can think of independence as a process of letting go and then coming back. It has been observed that many times babies will increase nursing at night right before hitting a major developmental milestone such as crawling or walking. By increasing touch time during the day, you are communicating that the “nest” is still there and safe and you may decrease the need for touching at night.
Offer Other Means of Comforting
There are other ways to soothe a baby or toddler back to sleep besides nursing. We have found rubbing to be equally as effective if the baby is not hungry or thirsty. Also, if you have been nursing your baby to sleep, now may be the time to stop that practice and lull him to sleep another way. Try wearing your baby to sleep in the sling after he has nursed.
Keep trying different things until something works. Keep your calm and remember that something will eventually work. Look for more tips in an upcoming blog. . .
Related Articles
Sleep Deprivation: Six on Sunday
Extended Breastfeeding: Why You Should Nurse for A Couple of Years