I spoke to someone the other day on the topic of, what else? Kids! She asked me “How many do you have?” I told her “Three boys, Thank Hashem.” She said “What a handful!” I chuckled to myself, since I had recently read a news story about Simi Zalmanov, a woman in the city of Tzfat in Israel with 19 children.
Actually, it isn’t totally unheard of in Chassidic circles for a woman to have 19 children. The typical Chassidic family has ten children, which is something I couldn’t imagine handling on a day to day basis, even though I am close with people who have this number or closer to a dozen. So how did this woman make the news?
Simi Zalmanov was recovering in the hospital after her recent birth and requested a private room. When the staff turned her down, her roommate said, “You don’t think a woman who just delivered her 19th child deserves her own room?” At this, the staff and others became interested. A journalist heard about it and asked Mrs. Zalmanov if she would be willing to be interviewed. A private person (Chassidic women usually shy away from any kind of publicity), she turned down the many offers for interviews, until the family discussed the issue with a rabbi. The Rabbi said he thought it would help people better appreciate the Torah life and the value of bringing children into the world if she agreed to the interview, so she did.
According to Mrs. Zalmanov, the journalists seemed to expect a home in chaos, children who weren’t being supervised, a noisy, disorderly home. Mrs. Zalmanov, who is organized beyond my wildest dreams, gave the journalists a taste of a warm, loving environment and an orderly well-run Jewish home. All the children had chores, but she hired cleaning help to ensure that they weren’t “put out.” She does all of her cooking at 5 am to ensure that she has time to spend with each child. Simi Zalmanov works full-time as a high school principal and her husband is a prison chaplain; these are not people who are having children at the government’s expense.
When asked if her life is challenging, Mrs. Zalamanov was honest. Yes, it is a challenge. But it depends on perspective. Are you going to get tired and frustrated carrying a load of sand? Of course. But what if you were carrying the same load, but it was filled with diamonds? Each child is like a diamond.
She often discussed the views of the Lubavitcher Rebbe on family planning; Hashem should decide the size of a family. In circumstances where a woman cannot cope, then birth control can be used as advised by a rabbi, but Lubavitch women are encouraged to bring souls into the world and not to alter G-d’s plan. “Family planning” can mean getting more cleaning help, using paper plates, having ready-made food and other things to make life easier, rather than limiting the number of children, Simi Zalmanov explains.
She is truly an inspiration to all mothers. While I doubt I will make it to nineteen, it is important to remember every child in a family, whether it is one or 20, is more valuable than the rarest jewel.