They may have a dozen children they are raising on their own or be the most renowned parenting expert in the world—that doesn’t mean that we, as single parents, need to take parenting advice or be expected to be comfortable with suggestions on parenting choices from someone we are just starting to date.
I am not sure why people even think that it might be okay to offer parenting advice to a single parent on a date? I suppose that there are those parents who ask for it—asking a person what they think they should do or what they would do if it was them, but that is still not asking for interference. If somehow, you find yourself in the uncomfortable situation of having a date or “interested party” offering advice or telling you what you “should” do with your child in a particular situation, it is up to you to set the boundaries and let the other person know what is and is not okay.
I have found as a single parent that it is so tough to really set boundaries and feel in control. As it is, there is a step-parent in my kids’ (and mine) life who goes beyond what I think is reasonable and I have had to learn how to share, set boundaries, and be the occasional “bad guy” in terms of protecting my kids and family. Meanwhile, I would really LOVE to meet a sane person with whom I could talk over parenting stuff—this does NOT mean that I want someone to do my job for me or tell me what I’m doing “wrong.” Over the years, I have learned how to attempt to set strong boundaries and say a very firm, “No thank you” if someone crosses those boundaries. I have also ended relationships and friendships because people seemed hell-bent on offering advice (always childless people, strangely enough), suggestions, and judgment. I think that we have to remind ourselves that we are the parent and listen to our intuition—if someone is making us feel uncomfortable or not respecting our boundaries or our authority as a parent, we have the right to speak up and/or change the relationship.
Also: Please Don’t Tell Single Parent to “Stop Being Picky”
What Not to Say to a Single Parent on a Date