It seems no matter how far ahead I plan, no matter how many late nights I clean and plan, and no matter how early I get up to cook for the seder, I never feel that going into Passover is so smooth.
Some years it is easier than others, and certainly it is better to be organized than to be frantic, but there is always that corner that can be cleaned more carefully, the horseradish always seems to have a thicker peel on it, or something unexpected happens, or I need to have another salad.
I am beginning to think it isn’t normal to feel relaxed and easy going into Passover. After all, that isn’t how we left Egypt. Okay, we left feeling like sons and daughters of the Ultimate King rather than as slaves, but according to tradition, we were in such a hurry that the dough didn’t have time to rise, which is one of the reasons we eat flat bread for seven days (there are other practical and spiritual reasons, but better reserved for a later blog). There is no reason to be frantic, but one shouldn’t feel discouraged if there is a sense of haste or even a bit of stress. We weren’t ready then either. That is why we counted the days from leaving Egypt until we received the Torah at Har Sinai; we still needed spiritual preparation.
sometimes G-d gives us an amazing gift that is so wondrous and so miraculous, we might wonder what we did to deserve it. At the same time, we all know what it is like to receive unexpected challenges we don’t think we are ready for. Perhaps, at the end of the struggle, we realize that any “preparation” would not have helped. The main point was working through the challenge and learning from it.
This works in positive and in negative situations. According to Kabbala, negative experiences are literally blessings in disguise. Because their source is from such a high and intense spiritual level it had to be concealed in a veil of darkness and difficulty, and the light could be revealed only with struggle.
With the miracle of leaving Egypt, the miracle was from a high spiritual level and its goodness was revealed to us. It was an “open miracle” that we were able to experience without pain, although there was a long growth process to “catch up” so we could be ready to receive the Torah.
So perhaps we don’t feel physically or spiritually ready for Pesach? That is perhaps how our ancestors felt. So we should just go out of our feeling of limitations and from the ordinary workday routine this holiday and Hashem will help us catch up in leaps and bounds..after all, the word “Pesach” connotes the leaping of a small lamb.