I know that with all the parenting books and expert advice out there, it can definitely seem like there is a “right way” and a “wrong way” to go about things. When I chat with other single parent friends, I notice that we often seem to be obsessed with doing “parenting” the “right’ way—it is as if we are trying to prove that we can be just as good of parents even if we are solo. Unfortunately, this can often make us rigid and we may be carrying around standards and restrictions that don’t really fit our families or our circumstances. While some things are universal and can truly make us better parents, it is also important to remember that nothing is written in stone…
Trial and error is okay for single parents too! As is pulling out things that you like, that fit your personality and that work for your family and letting the rest of it go. I know (from many conversations with other single parents) that developing the confidence to do things our way is tough—we tend to take on external judgments and expect a lot from ourselves, thinking that our kids deserve the best parents in the world. Well, every child deserves the best parent in the world and “best” does not mean “most rigid” and “most textbook.”
Single parents need to feel free to experiment, try things out, mix things up and try to tune in to your particular child, your own personality, and your family circumstance. Something that works one month, my not be the most appropriate half a year down the road. What works for your more “traditional” family neighbors may not fit your family scene at all. Let it go, try something else, loosen up—nothing is written in stone.
Also: Challenge Yourself to be a Great Parent