Approach or withdrawal explains your child’s response to new situations or people. Does your child eagerly approach a roomful of strangers? Do they cry whenever you leave them? Does your child like to go places or cry/resist when taken somewhere new?
Approach
The approachable child loves to meet new people and go new places. Life is an adventure that they eagerly embrace. Going to a new school or attending daycare is viewed as an opportunity to make new friends. They are confident and sure of themselves around strangers. When they are in a new place they will feel free to explore and go off by themselves. This is the child who is the life of the party and is adept at the art of small talk.
The drawback is that your child will not be afraid of strangers. You will have to make sure that you teach them what to do in dangerous situations. The approach person is also more impulsive and will need guidance as a teenager so they do not get into trouble.
Withdrawal
These are the shy, wallflowers; that tend to sit on the outside of the social situation instead of in the middle.
Research has shown that the child we used to label as shy actually has a more sensitive nervous system. They assimilate more knowledge than others and process it before acting. This tends to make large social situations and unfamiliar situations more difficult because there is so much data for them to process.
Withdrawal children tend to think before they act. This often means that their behavior is less impulsive, because they weigh the consequences of their decision before acting on it.
The withdrawal child will need help dealing with strangers and new situations:
- You can help them by talking about the event before it happens.
- Go to birthday parties early or visit schools before the first day to help your child get used to their surroundings.
- Invite one friend over at a time so your child can develop relationships one-on-one instead of in group situations.
- Help them develop communication skills by practicing at home; puppets are often a good way to help a child express herself.
For more information about other personality traits read my blog “The 9 Temperamental Traits”.