In the adoption blogs for October you’ll find several series: one series on research on “how adopted children turn out” and the genes-vs.-environment question, one on giving back and how adoption makes the world seem a bit smaller, and one on single parent adoption.
Media reviews included a workbook helping parents imagine what an inter-country move might be like for their child and think through related decisions. I also reviewed a wonderful resource for parents who think their child may have been exposed to alcohol prenatally. Another review was of an incredible story of an Ethiopian woman who runs two orphanages from which many children are adopted to America.
Individual blogs included my musings on the efforts some sending countries are making to reach out to adoptees. I also share a good-night story I wrote for my daughter telling of her adoption.
The first October entry is a Book Review: There Is No Me Without You. This book, by Melissa Fay Greene, tells the incredible story of Haregewoin Teferra’s journey from corporate employee to bereaved grandmother to foster mother of dozens.
In What Really Happens When Adopted Kids Grow Up? I note that adoptive parents are not alone in secretly fearing their children will become totally messed up. However, we must also deal with stereotypes and sensationalized media stories. This blog and the next one, When Adopted Kids Grow Up: Worst-Case Scenarios, share the conclusions of a forensic pathologist who has worked with murderers, some of whom were adoptees. His term “Adopted Child Syndrome” is controversial but his suggestions for parents and therapists are common sense.
The next two blogs are Does Research Validate Our Fears? And Does Research Validate Our Hopes? I share results of some of the many studies done on adoption, including the fact that adoptees, taken as a group, seem to enter mental health treatment more frequently and do slightly worse in school. However many studies did not differentiate between children adopted in infancy or later, nor control for other variables. And several studies found that adopted children had no difference in level of self-esteem than their non-adopted peers, and in fact sometimes felt a heightened sense of choice and control in their lives—less at the mercy of fate.
The next blog, How Much is Genes, How Much is Environment?, discusses research on whether adopted children’s IQs tend to be closer to their birth parents’ or their adoptive parents’ IQs. It also mentions research on schizophrenia. In My Take on An Age-Old Question, I give my two cents on these issues.
In Sending Countries Reach Out to International Adoptees, I muse on the pros and cons of sending countries’ efforts to connect adoptees with their birth countries.
Gina’s Good-Night Story is a short story I wrote for my daughter, about a little girl who asks her parents about her adoption story.
Help for Kids with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is a review of Jodee Kulp’s book sharing how neurodevelopmental therapy and many other things have helped her daughter.
In Not So Far Away I write of how international adoption can make the news seem much more personal and vivid. I share my family’s attempts to “give back” without hitting too close to home for our children in Giving Back: What Our Family Can Handle.
Next I share A Sampling of Overseas Child Welfare Efforts by U.S. Adoption Agencies—efforts to aid the children left behind.
My next series discusses Adoption Options for Single Parents: Adopting from the Child Welfare System, Newborn adoption, and International Adoption.
Adopting as a Single Parent: The Homestudy, discusses concerns single parents in particular may have about the homestudy process. I end with Support for Single Adoptive Parents, noting that single adoptive parents have different needs than other single parents and also than adoptive couples.
My last blog, a Media Review of With Eyes Wide Open: A Workbook for Parents Adopting International Children,gives a sampling of some of the exercises recommended for pre-adoptive parents.