During the time Joe and I were at Grace House for the Episcopal Appalachian Ministry work camp, we were able to participate in a Bible study led by our chaplain, the Rev. Cathy Deats, rector of St James Episcopal church, Hackettstown, NJ. The subject of the study was the book of Ruth, and the theme was “Welcoming the stranger”. I did not understand at first how this related to our experiences repairing people’s homes. But yes, we were strangers. And to really maximize the “mission” aspect of the trip, we did have to be as humble, faithful, and strong as Ruth.
Unlike most of the participants, I floated to three different sites in 5 days. This gave me a varied perspective about the host families and their lives. As one of the least skilled people available, I was traded for a skilled person on two different days since there was limited space in the truck. I started out on Cathy’s team, and true to her reputation, the project she led was the most challenging one, requiring a good carpenter. Unexpectedly, we discovered that the problems with a sagging floor were due to a major plumbing problem – fortunately there was someone on another team with those skills, and we traded skilled and semi skilled people among the 5 teams as needed. So I worked very hard at following each team I was assigned to and doing what was needed for me to do from one day to the next.
At the three different sites, I met families with starkly contrasting circumstances, all in need of some kind of assistance. The first family I met was with Cathy’s team, a retired coal miner and his wife who lived in a small home the husband had built himself about 30 years ago. Like so many men in the area, he was on oxygen for emphysema, and possibly had black lung disease. His wife was an enormously capable woman who maintained fabulously designed gardens. The gardens yielded fruits and vegetables, an important part of their food budget, but they also were ornamental. Wealthy people in my part of New Jersey pay thousands of dollars a year to have their properties landscaped like this – but to her it was just a matter of living her life simply and well. She also raised birds, and had some cats and rabbits she had rescued. We saw a lot of homes where animals just ran semi wild, but not here. Domestication was the rule. The house was immaculate, and showed true effort at upkeep. When it became clear that some of our tools were not right for the job, the hosts loaned us theirs – and were really great at joining Rev. Cathy to instruct me on the fine art of using a skilsaw. I made those cuts, and they encouraged me with great pride in their work! I don’t think anyone has taken such delight in encouraging me to learn new things since I was a child!
One morning when we arrived, the husband greeted us atop his tractor mower. With his oxygen tank firmly in place, he was mowing the lawn, which was about an acre of land. He took obvious pride and pleasure in doing so – one important job which he could still do, and do well. He had to go inside and rest before the heat of the day overcame him – but he knew his limits and planned around them.
Every day this couple showed us hospitality. They had plenty of cold drinks, prayed with us at meals, and were very much a part of the team. I found they inspired me, and their example continues to inspire me in my own life.
Now why would such a self reliant couple like this need help? Because they were faced with extraordinary challenges of illness, living in an isolated area to which they are rooted, and because they face many of the economic challenges of the Appalachian region. They don’t have much, but they have made much of what they have. I had the sense with them that we were solving their house problem with them, not just doing something for them.
Not everyone I encountered was like this. Another house I worked on had problems with the roof and gutters. Again, the house had been built by the husband and sons, and the husband was ill with emphysema – his wife had taken care of him but now she was ill too. They did not talk much, and I got the feeling that accepting help did not come easy to them. With illness, they had been unable to tend to the outside of the house, and hornets were a big problem under the eaves. Also snakes. Now that is one thing about mission trips like this – expect the unexpected. And when the little black snake fell out of the porch ceiling, it certainly was unexpected!
Joe spent the week on a roof replacing the shingles and plywood, and sealing it from leaks. He also encountered hornets. He now is free of a lifetime phobia of flying insects. He also became friends with the host’s 8 year old grandson, who took great delight in holding tools and snapping chalk lines – and being rescued from hornets!
The last site I worked at was a trailer. The family consisted of a single mom and two young adult sons. Although the work here was the easiest, and the people pleasant, I found this site to be difficult for me. There was very little interaction with the people – the mom was working, and I think the young men found it awkward to be in such close quarters with us. If there was one thing I learned on this trip, it is that things are seldom as they seem, and these families face many challenges. It cannot have been easy for these young men to accept help from a crew of teens.
I went with the attitude that having once received charity from my parish family that could never be repaid, I was going to pay it forward by giving charity to others. I have always known that it is difficult to ask for and receive charity. To do so requires humility. I now realize that giving charity also requires humility if it is to be truly effective. Humility is not the same thing as humiliation, because there is no shame in it. I came to truly understand the meaning of “not my will but Thine” by being flexible, going to different sites with different crews, and being the stranger who was welcomed.
Our week ended with a picnic to which all the host families were invited. A local family who work with the ministry year round are accomplished gospel singers, and they treated us to a concert. I listen to country and gospel, but this was unlike anything I had ever heard. It certainly is not like anything in the general media, or on the radio. I think music like this must be the roots of people like Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn. It was starkly beautiful, and I am blessed to have a tape of it which I listen to for my own prayer time.