There can be a fine line between your teen challenging you on an issue and being defiant. I find this to be truer as they get closer to that magical age which suddenly makes them an adult.
I have been doing a lot of searching within, as a parent of a 17-year-old. While in general I don’t believe that the age of 18 will suddenly make my teen mature and give him permission to do whatever he likes, I do understand the need to pull back even more.
I also understand the need to be willing to listen, to hear him out. I need to allow him the opportunity to express his feelings. Of course that is true for a teen of any age, but I am finding it to be an interesting dynamic when he tries to throw the “almost an adult” card out there.
When a teen is on the verge of adulthood, I think they get this sense that suddenly they will possess some kind of power. Yet there is still the whole “living under my roof” thing. I really don’t want to use that card but if he is going to use his “almost an adult” card, it is very tempting.
Hopefully as we are going through this adjustment and creeping toward that transition, we will both put away those cards and learn how to discuss issues. I have discovered that I need to be more willing to listen and that even if I don’t agree, it doesn’t necessarily mean I am right. Ouch…that is a hard one for me.
Hopefully he will discover that while there are times he will be able to do the thing he chooses, there will be other times that I may need to overrule him. It is going to take balance, compromise and a willingness to see the other side.
I must remember that the reality is he is on the verge of adulthood and that will mean learning to a greater degree how to interact with one another as adults, yet he is still my child. What a fine line to walk…hopefully one with only slips and never a fall.
How have you handled this transition into adulthood?
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