Recently I heard and saw a couple arguing. Each one was so intent on getting their own point across that neither one was listening to the other. Even if you’re not in the middle of an argument but just in everyday life with your spouse, there can sometimes be the tendency not to listen and to only see things from your own point of view.
Here are some helpful points I heard on the radio recently. They weren’t to do with marriage but I thought they would work just as well in marriage situation, especially if you have a tendency to see only your own point of view, which we all can do at times. We get locked into one perspective- our own.
Next time it happens, ask yourself these questions.
1. What is another way of looking at this?
To do this you will have to consider that your point of view may not be the only one. Stop and consider. Your spouse may have equally as valid a point of view. Show them the respect of at least listening to and considering what they have to say, rather than being so ready to have your own say and thinking of what you’re going to say next that you don’t hear a word they say. You’ll never know if they are right unless you listen and try and see what they are getting at.
2. What am I grateful for?
Being grateful helps us to focus on the positives in a relationship, in a life, in marriage. Remember that list about your spouse’s good qualities? You can be grateful for those and grateful for all the good times you have had together. You can be grateful for the times when you do feel close and in harmony. Think about the things that bind you together and be grateful for them.
Join me tomorrow for more ideas about how to resolve marriage difficulties and see things from another point of view.
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