Following on from yesterday’s article here are some more ideas about seeing things from another perspective. Other questions to ask are:
3. Who Can Help?
Now what I don’t mean here is sharing your personal life and problems with friends or family. That is rarely helpful and can often make things worse.
However a practical way, if you and your spouse need time together to work things out without children around, is to co-opt the help of friends or family to look after the children for a short time. An hour, a day, a weekend, or whatever is needed. You don’t have to say more than we need a little time to ourselves. You can always reciprocate when your sister or friend is having problems coping or just needs a bit of couple time.
If things have gotten to a more serious stage you might need to see about visits to a professional, someone with experience in marriage counseling
4. Where Are You Heading?
Is your prime purpose to keep your marriage together and regain the love and closeness you once had? If it is, then don’t let an argument derail that. Instead do whatever it takes to get back to that position. Of course that assumes your spouse also has the same commitment to the marriage.
Together time can often be helpful in regaining focus and closeness, so make regular date night. You’ll find suggestions here.
5. What’s Your Objective?
Remember where we started yesterday with one point of view. Think about it if you start to get involved in an argument. What is your objective? Is it just to prove your spouse wrong? Are you concerned about scoring points and winning the argument regardless of what means you have to resort to? Is it to make them change their opinion? Will it really achieve anything? You need to decide if it’s worth it. Certainly don’t try to shout at your spouse down or talk over top of them.
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