When it comes to being married, I’ve enjoyed conversations with other wives and husbands and I hear many of the same things all the time. What makes one partner in a couple happy may not make the other partner. Each partner makes sacrifices so that as a whole they will be happier. Yet, when you ask someone, directly – what do they value in their happiness? You may be surprised to find out that many people share the same things.
For example, husbands and wives both:
- Do not like being taken for granted
- Like companionship
- Enjoy affection
- Value financial security
- Want a safe environment for their children
Do you agree? Are these all things that you value?
Human Nature
So if you and your spouse are on the same page so much of the time, why do we put so much emphasis on the differences you have? Well, consider for a moment – you have ten toes, you probably run them into things all the time, bumping them here, bumping them there and you barely notice it. Now really whack or bruise one of those toes – then bump it into something and what happens? You notice it every single time it just brushes against something.
It’s in a man’s nature to want to fix your problems, even if all you want to do is vent. He may interrupt what you have to say to offer his suggestions. He may even try to correct your interpretation – he’s not ignoring you or discounting your feelings. Actually what he’s doing is quite the opposite, he’s trying to solve the problem for you – whether he can or not.
Often, men equate intimacy with sex and women don’t. When a woman wants to feel snuggled, cuddled and loved, she may not be looking for sex at all. If he presses the issue and she says no, they both feel rejected. An active and healthy sex life is great, but if a woman never gets to feel cuddled and loved without sex – she may feel like all she is – if you’ll pardon the expression – a ‘booty call’ and no wife wants to feel that way.
Capitalize On Your Differences
We’re all different. Those differences can enhance our relationships, but don’t just emphasize those differences for the sake of saying what is wrong with your relationship. Instead, emphasize all the areas you agree on and are in accord, then use those to fund the capital for building a bridge over your differences.
A happy marriage is not necessarily one where couples agree on absolutely everything. Instead, happy marriages are where you agree on how to handle things – such as your differences.
How do you and your spouse handle your differences?
Related Articles:
10 Ways to Avoid Being a Bad Spouse
10 Things He Needs From His Wife
10 Things She Needs From Her Husband