Today we are celebrating Hailey’s graduation and 18th birthday. At no time is it more apparent that we are not a normal family than during these celebrations. We defiantly put the fun in dysfunctional.
The party will be at our house, Hailey will be surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, in addition to her core family. I will be there, of course, as will her father. Also in attendance will be her two year old sister and her mother. Hailey’s current stepmother will be there, as will one of her father’s ex girlfriends. My daughter loves these people.
No we are not a traditional family. Not by any stretch of the imagination but we are a family, as strange as it looks from the outside. All of these people love Hailey and want to celebrate with her.
My daughter has bonded with these women, and others. They are a part of her life and she can’t imagine celebrating without any of them. One of the sad things about dating after divorce is that children get easily attached to new people, and sometimes those people go away. My daughter is very lucky to be surrounded by people who love her, no matter how they came into her life.
I was married briefly a few years ago and my new husband had custody of his young daughter. Unfortunately we were not able to make that marriage work and quickly divorced. The hardest part of that divorce was not being able to see that little girl anymore, I loved her and she loved me, we had bonded in the short time we were together. I didn’t want her to think that I no longer loved her but due to the nature of our divorce I was not welcome in her life. It was very sad, for both of us, and for my daughter.
I am determined not to do that again. The people who come into Hailey’s life and develop a relationship with her are always welcome in our home. We are making our own family and it’s wonderful.