I have seen many couples break up and use their children as pawns during arguments and custody battles. Too often, I hear one parent bad-mouth the other parent in front of the children. I have to admit, I have been guilty of the latter. I do make a conscientious effort not to do this, but I’m human, and it does happen from time to time. If this badmouthing occurs frequently, and is causing the child and other parent to have a poor relationship, it may be a condition known as parental alienation syndrome.
Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent attempts to alienate the child from the other parent. This could be by excessively talking bad about the other parent to the child, sabotaging visitations, or lying in court during custody battles (lying in court is also illegal and could result in jail time).
Parents may attempt to alienate the child from the other parent as a way to “get back at” the other parent (revenge), because of jealousy over the other parent’s new significant other, or to prevent the child from being away from them for visitations. Whatever the reason may be, it is never appropriate.
If you feel that you have parental alienation syndrome, or are otherwise alienating your child from seeing their other parent, I recommend that you seek individual counseling to work through the emotions that are causing this. If you feel you are the victim of parental alienation syndrome, there are legal actions that you can take to enforce a visitation order.
A child needs both parents. Of course, there are exceptions to this if abuse or drugs are involved. However, preventing a child from seeing the other parent for safety reasons is much different than doing so for your own personal gratification. A child who is alienated from one parent may grow resentful of the alienating parent later in life.