Recently a relatively new parent shared with me that she was having a “motivation problem”—you would think that an old crusty mom like me would have heard it all, but for some reason, this was the first time I’d chatted with someone who was having a hard time getting up and getting going at all in the mornings or doing any of the parental tasks at hand. Most people I’ve known might complain that they don’t know where the time goes and they feel as if they are spinning their wheels all day—but motivation and “oomph” are not the problem. This lack of motivation was a new parental problem for me to explore…
Once I asked around, I did hear from a couple others who confessed that either they had experienced it—or had known someone who had a hard time getting going, getting off the couch, doing any sort of activities or chores, or just generally taking care of the business of parenting. Some thought this was a sign of depression (and I’m sure for some new parents especially this might be the case), one parent said that she didn’t think she was depressed, she just couldn’t get organized because everything seemed so overwhelming. She said it was just easier to lounge about (I confess that I had a visual of my teenagers on a sunny, sluggish, summer day when they loll around playing video games.) I suppose there is something to be said for having a job to go to, set expectations, and a schedule to keep. I do remember that life with a new baby or a very young child can seem “timeless”—as if one activity and day just blurs and blends into another.
So, what is going on when you are lacking motivation? We all get the blahs now and again but if you get stuck in a place where you really don’t want to or can’t manage to do what needs to be done as a parent, you may need some help. You might be depressed, or you may need some encouragement, support, skills training, etc. to help you get a grasp of your life as a parent and get up out of the chair. Do not hesitate to ask for help and get the help you need if you are feeling overly sad, distant, overwhelmed, or lacking an interest in your child. Parenting can seem like a thankless job, but if we’ve signed up, someone has got to do it!
See Also the Mental Health Blog