There is a common theme I have begun to notice in many of the Dr. Phil shows I watch on parenting, along with many episodes of “Supernanny.” It’s the “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” kind of parenting.
This kind of parenting has no plan in place. Many parents just take life as it comes and when problems arise, try to handle them in the moment. I don’t know about you but when I try to handle anything in a moment of pressure, I usually don’t fare well.
Parenting has to be deliberate and thought out. It takes energy, time and ideas to do this. Some parents are so exhausted physically and emotionally, that they don’t have it in them to put forth the effort.
Now I have been there. There have been moments in the past almost 17 years of being a parent that I have felt incapable of doing anything. I have been weary, frustrated and confused. I think it’s to be expected but the key is whether or not a parent chooses to remain in that state.
Eventually you have to pull yourself out. It’s the parents who stay stuck that continue to have problems.
No one ever said that parenting was going to be easy. I think most of us could agree that it’s probably one of the hardest things we have ever done. But we really do need to be plugged in; even when the going gets tough…that’s when the tough really needs to get going.
Think ahead to issues that could arise. Having teens I can think of more than a dozen issues that could potentially become a problem, so I think about what my values and standards are. We talk about issues that while they may not be a current problem, could become one so I let my children know where I stand.
I feel more prepared for the things parenting throws your way when I have somewhat of a plan in place. Granted there will always be those unexpected moments where life kind of hits you smack in the face. But this is especially why we can’t be parents who do this by the seat of their pants.
Be a deliberate parent and you are less likely to be frustrated and weary.
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