There have been times when I wished parenting and life with children was more linear. To read the child development books, things look rather neat and tidy. Children move from stage to stage, phase to phase, and move along the stepping stones to adulthood with clear purpose. But in real life, it just doesn’t work that way. Periods of developmental bursts can often be followed by some types of “regression” and things can often seem rather up and down, push and pull and downright sloppy.
What I have found in my parenting experiences is that stages tend to be more cyclical than linear. We tend to move into a new developmental stage and then there are lots of swirls and overlaps. I often feel as though I am riding a wave or that roller coaster instead of marching through a “phase.” I usually discover that just about the time I am feeling grounded, and like I have figured out what to do and how to be as a parent with one of my children’s developmental stages, they’ve moved on or everything has completely changed. Often, things will feel somewhat familiar—variations on separation and independence, for example—but each time it will have new twists, turns, and surprises!
I suppose this is one of the main reasons for the saying that “parenting isn’t for sissies”—I liken it to when a person is standing in line at the amusement park and the sign says, “You have to be this tall to go on this ride”—with parenting, one definitely has to be ready to hang on through all the rises and falls and loop-to-loops. It takes some faith to trust that development is actually happening and children are progressing toward adulthood—even though the ride can be so incredibly bumpy!
See Also: How Important Are All Those Milestones, Really?