My twins are almost three and now that I’m out of the fog of sleep deprivation and constant feedings, diaper changes, and other baby care duties–I have to say that having twins is a blast. Someone asked me recently if there was anything remarkable about the way they developed verses how singletons develop and what was the hardest part of parenting multiples.
No doubt, had you asked me one year ago I would’ve answered that sleep deprivation was the hardest part of parenting multiples. By 5 or 6 months, all of my children woke once in the middle of the night. With the singletons, I’d just bring them closer, nurse them, and go right back to sleep. However, still, at five or six months, my husband would have to get up with me and help with one baby while I fed the other. . .or I’d have to get up alone. Either way, sleeplessness reigned in our house for quite awhile.
But now, with a little distance between myself and those sleepless nights, I think the hardest part about parenting multiples is having to share. That goes both for them and for me.
I Only Have Two Hands
Multiples cry a lot. It’s not because their multiples, and I grant you that some of their crying could be personality–but I have to say among all the mothers I’ve spoken with who have twins, it seems that we all note that our twins cry a lot more than other singletons. This, I attribute to having to share.
If both needed a diaper change–someone had to wait. Obviously, I can carry two at the same time, I can nurse two at the same time–but there are limits to my wonder mom status! When we were feeding them solids–they had to take turns.
Singletons don’t have to do this from birth. Even if they have siblings at home and even if they have siblings who are close in age, there still is a point at which they just get to be first and have that undivided attention. But with twins–someone is always waiting and someone is always being hurried through so that their twin can have a turn. It’s the nature of having multiples.
It’s no wonder that post partum depression rates are higher in moms with multiples compared to other moms. It’s hard to choose one of your children first. It’s hard to listen to the crying of the other while you take care of one’s needs and it’s hard to feel like you have to rush through each baby care task to get onto the next one.
This is one of the hardest parts about having multiples.
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Valorie Delp shares recipes and kitchen tips in the food blog, solves breastfeeding problems, shares parenting tips, and current research in the baby blog, and insight, resources and ideas as a regular guest blogger in the homeschooling blog. To read more articles by Valorie Delp, click here.
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