Sometimes the answers to our parenting problems and issues are simple. Often, the answer is the one that is right in front of our faces. Other times, however, we have to think beyond the obvious and look a little deeper. Children can be complicated people and the real reason for a behavior issue or a problem may not be on the surface…
We all get overwhelmed by our hectic lives and I know for a fact that after reading many parenting books and articles, it may seem like the answer to a child’s behavior issue or problem is obvious. After all, isn’t this exactly what we just read about (or what just happened with Susie-down-the-street’s child?) This is not always the case, however, and the answer may lie in something we have not even begun to consider.
For example, a child who is having eating and meal problems—not eating, being picky, creating diversions at the table, etc.—it could be a simple power struggle or it could be something else. Maybe the child has allergies and the food actually makes her feel ill, maybe the chair is extremely uncomfortable or her legs are too high and are falling asleep. Can you see how the answer to a seemingly ordinary problem may be anything but ordinary?
I cannot count how many times as a parent over the years when I have assumed I knew the answer to what was going on with one of my children and it turned out I was all wrong. What seemed like a simple, obvious situation ended up being something much less obvious. While there is no reason to turn yourself inside out trying to find obscure reasons behind your child’s behavior or problems, staying open to the fact that it might not be the most obvious and apparent answer can be helpful.