Regrets…I am sure that I am in good company when I confess that wrestling with guilt and regrets has been one of my ongoing “issues” in parenting. Years ago, I remember reading an article or book where the writer said if you do your best job as a parent, you will be able to let go with no regrets. While this sounds fabulous in theory, I haven’t quite figured out how to put it into practice. Perhaps, because I’m a mom…
I suppose that being fully engaged in parenting and striving to do the best job we possibly can with our kids should, in theory, lead to being able to let go with no regrets. Still, I’m not sure how to feel confident that I really HAVE done all that I could. After all, I have bad days, I make mistakes, I turn right when I should turn left. It is tough not to wonder if I had just said something different or had the money for those extra lessons–if everything would turn out differently and my child would be unwaveringly happy, successful and full of pride and purpose.
In thinking it through, I imagine it comes down to making a personal choice to let go of regrets and lighten up on ourselves. While it is easier said than done–it’s not impossible. Showing up and staying present and making the best possible decisions at the time can help to create an environment where regrets don’t survive. But, at some point, we just have to let those regrets go. We really are just people who have done the best we can (IF we’ve done the best we can) and once we launch our children into adulthood, I believe we will have an easier time of it if we are not holding on to regrets from our parenting years.
See Also: Guilty Mom Syndrome
103 Reasons NOT to Feel Guilty