When my children were younger, I spent years volunteering as a coach for various sports and teams. I saw all sorts of personalities and parents and have had a front-row seat to some rather unseemly parental sideline behavior. I know you’ve probably read reports and articles about poorly-behaved sports-crazy parents, but even some of the milder forms of overly-competitive parents can make the entire experience rather un-fun for the children involved.
Remember that old saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” Well, this goes double for cheering on your child’s sports teams. Absolutely no coaching, moaning, yelling, screaming, booing or any other icky behavior at youth sports events. This may be part of the “fun” of some grown-up or professional sporting events, but it’s definitely out of line at youth events. Your kids really can’t hear you anyway when they are out on the field and since they are supposed to be listening to the coach—all those screaming voices just make it more confusing and stressful. One of the best tips I heard for parent sideline behavior is to be “seen and NOT heard.” Your child needs you there for encouragement and support, but no one needs to hear you barking from the sidelines.
Another great tip for sideline parents is to focus on encouraging and cheering for BOTH teams. This will help keep your competitive fervor in check and show the little players that participation is the goal—NOT winning. It is never okay to denigrate another player, parent or ESPECIALLY a coach or referee. Remember, all these impressionable children are watching! If sports make you feel emotional, stand off by yourself where you will be less likely to get caught up in other comments or get in a tussle with parents who don’t agree with your assessment. You’ll be more likely to be quiet if you’re not in a group.
Remember that your child’s sports involvement is not about competition or getting on the Olympic development team—it’s about fun and character development. It’s up to parents to keep things in perspective and model respectful, respectable behavior. If you can’t do this, you really shouldn’t go, or you should sit in your car or someplace where you won’t ruin the spirit of the game.