It happened at the Cincinnati Zoo. A 3-year-old boy somehow fell into the gorilla exhibit’s enclosure. A 17-year-old male gorilla, named Harambe, encountered the boy. Someone from the Zoo made the decision to shoot and kill the gorilla in order to save the preschooler. What can parents learn from the Gorilla Incident?
Parent Shaming Doesn’t Fix Things
It didn’t take long for parents around the world to take to social media to comment about the Gorilla Incident. While some expressed sympathy for the Zoo, the majority chose to attack the mother of the 3-year-old boy and question her parenting ability.
Littisha Bates, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Cincinnati, points out that parent shaming is “a control mechanism and a way to validate one’s own parenting skills.” In other words, the people posting shaming comments are doing it in part to show that they are a good parent (by comparison).
The next time you feel the need to do some online parent shaming, please realize that your words are going to upset a real person who just went through something scary with their child. Angry words, from strangers on the internet, cannot change what has already happened.
Parent Shaming Can Have Real-World Consequences
More than one petition has been created in response to what happened at the Cincinnati Zoo. One asked for the Hamilton County Child Protection Services, and the Cincinnati Police Department, to “hold the parents responsible”. At least one of those petitions stated concern for the child’s home environment.
The mother was investigated and no charges were filed. She was not found to be negligent. The 3-year-old was unharmed.
It is worth noting that the online parent shaming got so bad that the Cincinnati Police felt compelled to act. They reached out to the mother to let her know what had been posted online and “to err on the side of safety for her and her family”.
Bring Extra Adults for Additional Help
The mother was at the Zoo with her 3-year-old son and her daughters (who were ages 7, 4, and 1). She was accompanied by an adult friend and the friend’s teenage son and 7-year-old sons. That adds up to six children who are under the age of 10 being watched by two adults (and possibly a teenager).
One thing parents can learn from the Gorilla Incident is that it is best to bring many extra adults along when visiting a Zoo (or other unfamiliar and exciting location). Children can move faster than you might expect. If every child is holding hands with an adult (or being carried by one) it reduces the chance of having a child run off and into potential danger.
Image by brett211 on Flickr.
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