I confess that I have read a lot of parenting books and articles in my time as a parent, I’ve also had hundreds of conversations with other parents, grandparents, non-parents, teachers, and experts. I have heard a lot of great ideas and values and belief systems. But what I have learned over time is that I cannot just “take on” anything and everything that comes my way. I have to be true and genuine to my own self and my own belief system too.
Just as we encourage our children along the path to discovering who they are, what they stand for, and uncovering their own unique skills and talents—as parents we cannot possible be everything and anything to anyone, even our children. We have to develop our own self-awareness and learn what we can and can’t do as parents. Our children definitely know the difference between things we agree with and believe in, and things we are doing just because we think we should. I am sure someone in your childhood (your own parents, perhaps?) said to you something like: “If everyone ELSE jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” or some such thing. The implication and lesson being that we have to be able to think for ourselves and do what we think and feel is right for us and not just follow the crowd.
Well, now we are adults, and parents to boot. While there may be all sorts of things we can learn from other parents and experts, we do not need to just follow the crowd blindly. We have to find a way to incorporate skills and tips, but still remain true to who we truly and genuinely are. Our kids will know the difference—and we will feel much more confident and at peace when we know we are living authentically as parents.
See Also: Reassurance is a Skill
Discovering Your Parent’s Intuition