The pile of packets from various colleges is starting to grow. Although I know it didn’t happen overnight, it does seem like suddenly we are no longer choosing a summer camp, but instead are pouring over college curriculum and requirement lists and my eldest daughter is actually making visits to campuses within driving distance of our West coast city. I’m not sure what my role should be–I know I’m expected to do more than keep track of the colorful packets, but for someone who’s still paying off her own student loans (I went back to finish my degree as a single parent), it’s hard for me to even get my head wrapped around the fact that in a matter of months, she’ll be off on her own!
Fortunately, my eldest daughter is an incredibly grounded person. She’s one of those rare individuals who has known that she wanted to be a research scientist since I gave her that first microscope in preschool. Unlike my other two, who have gotten as far as saying they’re going to “do something” when they grow up, she has a plan and can be very realistic and methodical about how to get there. So, I guess she’s been the perfect “practice child” as eldests tend to be…
It is interesting how her college investigations have encouraged plenty of comments and advice from grandparents, aunts, uncles and other adults in her world. Everyone seems to have an opinion about “where she should go”–some even going so far as to send her hooded sweatshirts from their top picks. So, she certainly doesn’t need any more of that from me. Besides, I’m the one looking at the “tuition and budget” column, and saying things like, “I don’t think that includes the price of books.”
She comes back from visits to campuses bubbling about bowling alleys and free tickets to sporting events, and I want to know about laundry facilities and the health clinic. I wrestle with my own bittersweet feelings about this new developmental step–I want to enjoy this new beginning, but feel a little sadness that she is nearly grown, a little frustration that I can’t afford to send her wherever she may want to go, and a great deal of gratitude that she has all these incredible options available to her that she can take for granted.
I’m still not sure exactly what my role should be, but for now, I’m just content to be included in the process. Anyone else out there trying to help a child choose a college?