There is something interesting I have noticed about parents. I remember when my children were younger; we couldn’t stop talking about our kids.
When they were babies we talked about how many hours they slept, how well they napped and their “firsts.” Their first smile, first time they rolled over and so on.
As they became toddlers we talked about what it was like having a mobile child and how everything needs to be put out of their reach. We talked about their words and the funny things they said.
When they got into elementary school we talked about how well they were doing, what level they were reading at and which sports or other activities they were involved in. We discussed their accomplishments.
But it seems like once they hit middle and high school, there wasn’t as much talk to talk about. Or maybe it was just that parents began to clam up.
Sure, we still discuss sports activities and grades (when they are good). But the nitty-gritty of parenting seems to have vanished.
Here’s why I believe this is. I think we are afraid to talk about our teens. Because the reality is that sometimes they make choices we don’t approve of or they can be a real source of difficulty. Even the “good” teens have their moments.
But we don’t want to talk about this stage because then we are afraid of two things. The first is that we are afraid others will judge our parenting. We may feel like we have somehow failed if our children do something wrong.
The other reason is that we don’t want our children judged. We don’t want them to be seen as the “bad” kid.
While these reasons are understandable, I still find it a shame that we can’t talk amongst other parents because of the fears that stand in the way. Does anyone else find this to be true of parents who have teens?
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