Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked but I am. Apparently there is a new trend emerging in some homes, where parents are allowing their teens to have sex at home.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck, co-host of “The View” and part-time contributor to “Good Morning America” took part in a discussion with both parents and teens in separate settings to discuss teen sex at home.
There are some parents who believe that if their teens are going to have sex; they would be safer doing it at home. One mother cited her reasons for allowing her 18-year-old son to have sex at home is that its cleaner, his condoms are handy and the environment is better than a motel, park or wherever else a teen may end up.
Another parent allows her 17-year-old daughter’s boyfriend to sleep over once-a-week. She believes that by allowing her teen to have sex in the home, she is having safer sex. In her view, hidden sex tends to happen with people that the parents may not know and increases the risk of a teen sleeping with a number of partners. There is also the chance that a contraceptive won’t be available, unlike at home where it can be.
One parent on a panel that Elizabeth spoke with was against the idea of teens having sex in the home and there was one word he used that really stuck out to me. He mentioned the “sanctity” of the home. I believe that is a powerful word to describe what a home should be.
Elizabeth also had a panel of teens that she spoke to separately, with most of them being horrified at the idea of having sex with their parents in the other room. The thought of their parents knowing what they were doing was uncomfortable to them.
There were even some teen girls who said that with parents giving permission, it makes it more difficult to say no. They felt that if a boyfriend knew her parents were okay with the idea of this, he would put more pressure on them. Yes, believe it or not there are some teens who don’t want to have sex early on.
I guess part of the thinking is that if they are going to do it anyway, you might as well make it as comfortable and safe as possible. My first question is…then where do you draw the line? Do you also go on to say that your teen is likely to drink, so then you might as well provide the liquor? At what point do you draw the line in the sand and say that as a parent, you are not to cross over to this side.
While we cannot control what our teenagers do, we can certainly instill in them that they have a choice to not do those things. We don’t have to just surrender, throw our hands up in the air, back away from parenting and say “Have at it.”
Second, could it be that teens actually want boundaries? As much as they may protest, the reality is that teens actually feel safer when their parents provide boundaries. Does that mean they won’t sometimes cross them? They may. But to give free reign can be very confusing.
It’s kind of like a 3-year-old who shouldn’t run into a busy street. Who hasn’t had a child that attempted to do this? There is some kind of draw or lack of understanding that causes them to want to dart out. While that may be what they want, don’t we put up boundaries? Don’t we say, “You must hold my hand”?
Will our child attempt to cross the street without holding our hand? Yes. So do we say, “Well my child is going to run out there anyway, I might as well let them”? Of course not…so why would we do any different when it comes to the issue of teens and sex?
What do you think about parents allowing their teens to have sex at home?
Related Articles:
Talking to Your Teen about Sex
Photo by killerwig stock.xchng