Today I am continuing the tips for communicating effectively which I started yesterday.
7. Pick the right time
One I mentioned the other day was about picking the right time. Not when your spouse is doing something else. We did have that conversation when Mick raised it the next day so he had heard it, and he was his usual encouraging and supportive self. Although sometimes driving on the car can work if you’re not in traffic and needing to concentrate a lot. It often works well with children and teenagers too, so long as they’re not the ones driving.
8. Be grateful
Be grateful for who they are and tell them that.
9. Thank them
Thank them and show your appreciation of they do a job for you. Is it really worth mentioning. So what if it’s not done perfectly? Resist the urge to find fault.To let them know that’s not how you’d have done a job or you could have done it better.
10. Make up your mind
Make sure before you ask the question whether you really want to know the answer Often do you want the answer you want to hear and not the truth. Our spouses may not always answer as you and I expect. So you need to decide if you can deal with the truth and not let it change your outlook towards your spouse.
11. Leave the past in the past
Don’t keep bringing up past mistakes and problems etc each time you have an argument.
12. Say I’m Sorry
When you do disagree or argue move on quickly. Does it really matter who’s right and wrong. It’s it better just to be able to move past it? Say you’re sorry and get on with life. If your spouse is the one to apologize accept the apology and leave it there.
13. Watch you body language
Look at your spouse when talking to them, look them in the eye. Don’t stand in a belligerent manner or have a closed off or impatient look on your face or talk in an angry tone. Cut out sighs, folded arms and other non verbal clues that tell your spouse you re angry or tense or feeling stubborn.
14. Don’t make threats
When people are backed into a corner they often react even more defensively and then as a result go on the attack. I know. I’m one of those people who can get quite perverse when people try to back me into a corner.
15. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
Don’t make promises to your spouse that you may be unable to keep. Better not to make the promise at all.
You may have other ideas about communicating effectively with your spouse. I’d love to hear them. We can always learn from each other of ways to help strengthen or marriages.
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