I wish I had kept the magazine or noted the author. But as usual I was in a hurry and somewhat preoccupied by my toddler. But the words struck a chord in my mind. . .and I repeated them to myself slowly as I loaded my wares and went to the car. “You are either racist or actively anti-racist. This isn‘t an issue you can be passive on.”
I have to admit, I was offended. I live on a block with thousands of people. There are a handful of white people on our block–it is mostly a Puerto Rican neighborhood. If I were racist would I live here? Not only do we live here–and choose to do so–we have spent 10 years of our lives working with the kids from this neighborhood. We’ve gone to families’ homes when they’re in crisis, we’ve been involved on the block and we’ve done everything we realistically could to be good neighbors. Hey, even my best friend is Puerto Rican. . .and I’m racist because I’m not at some rally actively encouraging people not to be racist?
Being passively racist
I am not actively racist. You likely are not either. I know there are people who are actively racist, but I don’t personally know anyone like that. I would probably choose not to be associated with them.
But slowly and finally the message sunk in. I was passively racist. Not because I hadn’t been to some activists’ rally and not because I have something against a particular group of people. But I had not addressed the very real issue of racism with my children. I started to realize that regardless of my skin color–racism was a fact of life for everyone.
Talking to Your Kids
I admit that bringing up racism at the dinner table may likely get you nothing but blank stares. I don’t think most people think of themselves as racists. But the reality is that we all have misinformation about something or someone that is different than us.
We weren’t sure how to bring up the subject of racism with our kids. But we went through our summer and as I determined to be actively anti-racist, I sought for opportunity to teach. Look for my next blog in this series for areas to address in talking about racism with your kids. In the meantime, think long and hard: are you passively racist?