I didn’t think I was going to have anything to write about Paul Newman’s death here in the Marriage Blog. I figured that’d be something for the girls who cover the Popular Culture Blog to write about.
But as I’ve come across all the different tributes to his life, something’s become glaringly clear: Paul Newman was more than an actor, a race car driver, a camp founder, an activist, and a food line entrepreneur. He was a loving, devoted husband, something he seemed to be just as proud of as he was of any of his other accomplishments. Maybe even more so.
In fact, he and his wife Joanne Woodward are one of those examples of a long marriage I vowed to study and learn from at the start of this year.
Setting the Hollywood Benchmark
Among the many other pop culture news Michele and Libby bring us, they’re forever covering celebrity divorces. That’s what makes Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s love story that much more remarkable.
I think the quote that sums this up the best was in a New York Times article Jade sent me. She included it in her email to me with the link to the story.
In an industry in which long marriages might be defined as those that last beyond the first year and the first infidelity, Mr. Newman and Ms. Woodward’s was striking for its endurance. But they admitted that it was often turbulent. She loved opera and ballet. He liked playing practical jokes and racing cars. But as Mr. Newman told Playboy magazine, in an often-repeated quotation about marital fidelity, “I have steak at home; why go out for hamburger?” ~-“Paul Newman, a Magnetic Titan of Hollywood, Is Dead at 83” by Aljean Harmetz-~
How They Made It
In clips of interviews I’ve seen where one or the other, or both, of them have been interviewed, they never said it was easy. They admitted there were rough roads. (Which is inspirational. It goes to show you can make it even when the going gets tough. Stick with it and you’ll work through it.)
But in a tribute to Newman that Wayne and I were watching Sunday morning, (unfortunately I don’t remember what program it was), they replayed an interview in which he said it was “the perfect combination of lust and respect” that helped their marriage last.
And yesterday on Today, they reran part of an interview in which both Paul and Joanne participated. Joanne responded to the lasting marriage secret question thusly: “Somebody once said what is your relationship based on? And I said he’s very good looking and very sexy and all of those things, but all of those things go out the window finally and finally what’s left is if you can make somebody laugh that’s very important. And he sure does keep me laughing.”
He sure did. For 50 years.
Speaking of 50 Years
Paul and Joanne set a marriage benchmark in a number of ways.
1. They lasted when most Hollywood couples don’t.
2. They lasted for 50 years. (Which is remarkable, because recently I wrote about how only five percent of couples make it to that anniversary.)
3. They lasted for 50 years and it was Paul’s second marriage.
Farewell Mr. Newman
Mr. Newman will live a life immortal in his movies and in the hearts of his fans, but I can’t help but feel for his wife Joanne like I did when Jack Cafferty’s wife died.
Paul and Joanne lived an incredible love story. Better than any movie portrayal because it was real. I can’t even imagine the heartache she’s enduring.
Blessings to you, Ms. Woodward. May your Paul rest in peace.
Courtney Mroch also writes in Pets and Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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