Should we make our kids pay for choosing not to behave properly? I recall when I was younger a novelty item was on the market called a “cuss box”. Each time someone cursed, he or she had to deposit a specified amount of money, generally a quarter, into the bank. The person who had challenged the other person not to curse would keep all the money deposited in the bank. Generally, the challage was for a week. The idea was to curb the potty mouth by taking money away from the offender. Should we apply the same technique to curb the rising tide of bad behavior in our kids?
In the book, What Did I Just Say?!, the authors recommend taking away money from our kids when they make a conscience decision to misbehave or engage in other inappropriate behavior. As an example, if you give your four-year-old 100 pennies as an allowance, you should take away one penny for a minor offense and a nickel for a more serious offense such as hitting another child. This teaches a child that his losses are due to his choices.
I have kept Tyler’s allowance (presently 6 bucks a week) or part of it during times when his behavior was totally unacceptable. For instance, a few weeks ago he kicked my sister. That was unacceptable and I kept his entire allowance.
Although I would like Tyler to pay for his bad decisions, I also want to teach him money management and I don’t know if I can do that if I’m always taking money back from him. He normally spends his allowance as soon as he receives it but the past two weeks he has been doing much better. He has $15 saved which is the most he’s ever saved. And I can see that he’s thinking ahead. Yesterday, when I picked him up from school I stopped to get gas and he wanted to get a drink. I told him that we had something to drink and I wasn’t spending money on something that we already had and that he could have access to in about five minutes. I told him that if he wanted a drink, I would buy it but I wanted to be reimbursed (I don’t let him take his wallet to school). After thinking about it, he decided it was best to forgo the drink and keep his money.
So will it work? For an older child it might but I don’t think a four-year-old really grasps the concept of money and may not give a darn if you take a nickel away from him for hitting his brother.
See also:
Teaching Your Kids to be Fiscally Fit