Marriage is about working together and being there for each other. While it might be good to set up some guidelines initially about how your marriage will work and who will do what jobs, sometimes these guidelines should be only that – guidelines. At times they many need updating or changing as circumstances change. It may mean for a time one person is left carrying more of the load.
This can happen when your spouse is sick or injured, as when I broke my arm, Mick was left to pick up a lot of the slack and take on jobs I normally do. It may also happen when a woman is pregnant. Yes, some women sail through pregnancy and never look healthier. I was like that with my first. ‘Disgustingly healthy,’ was the way someone described it. But that’s not always the case, particularly if women are pregnant when older. Then it can often mean slowing down or even bed rest which means a lot more help around the house is needed.
It may also occur when one partner is under a lot of pressure, working long hours and extremely busy with work, so the other part of the team, for that’s what marriage is a team, needs to step up and take on more responsibility.
It’s pointless standing back and saying but that’s not what we agreed to. That’s not showing love and caring for your spouse. Marriage is for better or worse, in good times and bad and sometimes that means taking on a bit extra to make life easier for your spouse.
Of course, there’s no reason why children can’t be encouraged and co-opted to help out as well. If they see Mom and Dad work together to keep the house and family running and be prepared to take on more work when needed, then it’s likely they will follow be prepared to help. It’s certainly a good role model for them to follow and one they maybe well adopt when they grow up and embark on their own marriages.
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