Is the picture of you from your mirror, the same as the picture of you that your spouse has? In other words what you see, is that what your spouse sees? I don’t mean the outside appearance but your positive and negative traits and qualities. Do we ever see ourselves, our good points and our faults objectively?
Recently Mick and I were with another couple we know. Being a person who loves quizzes and personality tests and such, I tried out a 100 question quiz or brain system checklist with another couple. Each of them had to answer each question e.g. Are you easily embarrassed, are you impulsive, sensitive to criticism etc. Answers covered the spectrum from never to rarely, occasionally, frequently to very frequently.
I simply recorded their answers although, because I know the couple well, I had my own thoughts about what some of the answers would be. Sometimes my perception of them was the same as theirs. Other times it was not at all the same as I would have expected them to answer.
More interesting was how often one disagreed with the answer their spouse gave and said, ‘I would have thought you were more frequently rather than rarely.’
It certainly highlighted the difference between the way the person saw himself or herself and the way their spouse saw them
On the way home I said to my husband, ‘I wonder if you and I did the checklist again and you answered for me and I answered how I think you would, how different it would be to our initial results?’
Now there’s an idea for a marriage blog, Mick said. ‘Is the view from the mirror the same as that your partner sees?’
Yes, he’s a gem isn’t he? One night it might be a fun thing for us to do – to see if he sees me the same way I see myself. At the very least, it would certainly provide plenty to talk about, as it did with this couple.
Please visit these related blogs
Dealing with Problems and Irritations in Marriage
Family Relationships and Attitude
Liking What You See in the Mirror