There is a great deal of talk about parenting styles—parents are expected to figure out whether they are an authoritative or permissive parent and to fit themselves into a definition or box that defines the way they interact with their children. For many of us, however, we are a little of this and a little of that. As complex human beings who have evolving values and ideas about things—we may change and morph and our parenting style may actually be an eclectic collection from all sorts of different influences.
It may seem sort of radical—but our parenting style CAN and often does change. We might read a great book or article that gives us some new techniques to use or we may research a particular problem only to discover that we change our viewpoint and opinions about something. We do not parent in a vacuum and adjusting to different child personalities and influences is part of what can make us unique, resilient and strong parents. The important thing is to learn how to balance piecing together multiple influences and remaining consistent with our kids.
Our kids do not necessarily care if we are very strict about what sort of food they eat, but lenient when it comes to bed times. Those differences do not make us inconsistent—it is when we go back and forth in certain areas that we can be confusing and inconsistent—a strict bedtime one week and then no bedtime for another. As long as we are being somewhat logical and true to our values, and trying to be consistent and fair—the diversity of our parenting style influences can be a strength.
Whether you have a lot of rules or just a few, they will morph and change over the years as you grow and change as a parent. It is okay! Our parenting style will be as human as we are but we can minimize confusion for our children by getting reasonably clear about where we stand.
See Also: Allowing Your Own Parenting Style to Emerge
What Influences Your Parenting Style?