Do you have someone in your family that likes to meddle and play adult matchmaker? Do you wish that your aunt or sister-in-law or cousin would stop trying to fix you up because they think it’s time you got back into the dating game? It’s a truism that people in relationships want to see their single friends or family members in one that fulfills them as well. But adult matchmakers are the fodder for a lot of television comedy, romance novel giggles and movie laughs.
It’s hard to imagine the situation where an old woman fakes an anxiety attack so the doctor in the small town will come out to her house and incite jealousy in her sister’s philandering husband, because of a date some thirty years before. But there is a kernel of truth in the Hollywood stories and the sound of laughter is both disbelieving and nervous. Adult matchmakers don’t have to be maiden aunts. They can be a co-worker, a good friend, a sibling and in some odder twists, an ex-spouse.
While there is no timeline that stipulates a person must be married or involved in a committed relationship by age X, it seems to be human nature to encourage a personally intimate relationship between two people. Friends and family that play adult matchmaker don’t always do the best job. Sometimes they know you well enough that they find you a decent guy or girl, but some families might scare off their relatives with the people they keep trying to fix them up with.
There’s no formal equation for deciding what will or won’t attract a person. Attraction is extremely subjective and individual to the person. Because it’s so utterly subjective, it’s difficult for an adult matchmaker to really pair you up with someone unless they know you exceptionally well or you both share a great deal in common. But unlike a dating service, there is a lot of pressure from the onset of the adult matchmaker’s first call mentioning they have someone they want you to meet.
If you are in a position where the adult matchmaker is making a nuisance of himself or herself then it’s important to ask them to stop. You should thank them for caring so much, but be firm in the conviction that you want to do it on your own. Assure them that it’s not that their choices are bad, but that you worry about disappointing two people every time they do it: the adult matchmaker and yourself.
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