What are your expectations of your spouse? What are your expectations of yourself? Have you ever noticed that when you expect the worst, that’s usually what happens? Have you ever found that people live up to your expectations?
Not too long ago in this blog the importance of assuming good intentions. Hand in hand with assuming good intentions is stressing positive expectations.
Assuming Good Intentions
When you assume good intentions, you are less likely to think someone (your partner or spouse specifically) is doing anything to you out of malice. Instead, by assuming good intentions, you can rightfully believe they mean well. They do not mean harm. Their actions are often about them and not about you. Which means you are more inclined to hear them out, listen to their problems and be understanding.
Positive Expectations
When you expect the worst of someone, that’s what you see. When you expect that your partner won’t remember to do something critical, they won’t pick up their laundry off the floor like you’ve asked and they sure aren’t going to get the lawn mowed – guess what? Your chances for being right are increased exponentially.
However, when you believe that your partner is going to do their best. That they want to do these things and that they are working on their own issues whether they are career or personally related. Then you are more likely to encourage their positive actions and reactions.
What You See Is What You Get
Oddly enough, we forget how often it is our own perceptions that color our behaviors, our reactions and our beliefs. When we see the positive traits, the effort and the good intentions, we see the person we love and married. When we see nothing but their flaws, their laziness and their bad intentions – well, I’m sure you can put it together.
Expect the positive – assume good intentions – and you have a recipe for living happily ever after – bumps and all.