The next external asset that children need in order to grow up healthy is Positive Family Communication. This can take many different forms and for some people may be more difficult to achieve than it sounds like. For people who have a family history of verbal abuse, or negative family communication it can be a difficult habit to break. When speaking with children of all ages-make eye contact, don’t interrupt, and really listen to what they are saying.
Communication can occur without words. Use appropriate hugs and touches to convey your love for your child. My boys love to wrestle, and they love it when mom gets in on the act. Wrestling around with them is like giving them a serving of love on a platter. This is not my first choice of nonverbal cues, hugs would be a better choice in my opinion, but they respond very well to a good old pillow fight with wrestling mixed in.
Physical touch is the type of communication that infants need the most. Studies have shown that children in orphanages in post communist Romania who had the benefit of physical touch were more socially, emotionally and academically adjusted than other children who were left in their cribs for the majority of the day with little human contact or play.
Toddlers love to play and will bring you toys or books in order to get you to join in on the fun. Toddlers also have a ton of questions. Try to be patient when answering those seemingly senseless barrages of questions.
Reading is another great way to connect with your Pre-Schooler and elementary age child. Elementary age children respond to verbal communication more readily than when they were younger. When you arrive home from work, ask the children about their day. Do try to vary your communication through varied sayings when they wake up or return home in the evening to things like “I sure missed you today”, “I am really glad to see you”, or “tell me about the most exciting thing that happened to you today.” Try to eat at least one meal per day together and engage in conversation. Please note that conversation is different from instruction and correction. Some days when it is super busy, I feel more like a drill sergeant barking out orders to my children about cleaning their room, and doing their homework. This is not all there is to communication. Conveying love and an interest in an older child’s life can speak volumes to him or her. Tucking children in for the night can be a nice way to end the day while talking about the events or whatever is on the child’s mind and heart.
Communicating with teens can be challenging. The most important thing to develop is your availability and trust with them. Teens need to know that they can come and talk to you about anything.