Parents today have a plethora of parenting styles to choose from. Have you figured out what your parenting style is yet? If not, then perhaps Positive Parenting might be your style.
Positive Parenting is a style that is intended to lessen stress and form healthier relationships between parents and their children. It is not an authoritarian parenting style. Other phrases that have been used to describe Positive Parenting include: positive discipline, gentle guidance, or loving guidance.
Physical punishment, such as spanking, is absolutely not a part of Positive Parenting. It isn’t about “teaching your child a lesson”. Instead, this parenting style focuses on building and establishing a healthy, positive, relationship between the parent and the child. It is this relationship that strengthens the bond between parent and child and gives children the support they need as they grow.
Communication is a very big part of Positive Parenting. I’ll give you an example. Let’s say that your child is insisting that he should have a later bedtime. He wants to stay up for another hour tonight instead of going to bed as planned. Tomorrow is a school day, and both of you know that he has a difficult time waking up in the morning.
Positive Parenting requires parents to go beyond pat responses (like “No!” or “Because I said so!”). Those types of answers show your child you are speaking to him, but not understanding his wants. Instead of yelling, sit down so you are eye level with your child. Calmly discuss why you won’t let him stay up for an extra hour. Ask him to remind you how he feels when he first wakes up.
This small amount of direct communication can help your child to understand why he needs to go to bed now (and not one hour later). It makes it more clear to the child that you are requiring a specific bedtime because you love him and want to take good care of him. It helps remove the idea that a parent is “being mean” and could prevent a temper-tantrum.
Positive Parenting allows parents to accentuate the positive. In this example, the parent could offer to read her child a story that night. Or, she could say she will make his favorite breakfast before school (which might make waking up and starting the day seem more enticing). That’s much better than a fight right before bedtime!
Overall, Positive Parenting emphasizes the love you have for your child. Your child will choose to do things that please you because he knows you love him. It also teaches your child to express himself in ways that are calm, to learn how to negotiate, and to connect on a very meaningful level with others.
Image by Stephen Hochhaus on Flickr.
Related Articles:
* What is Your Parenting Style?
* Authoritative Parenting: An Overview
* Your Parenting Style Impacts Your Teen’s Autonomy