Asset number 15 from the Search Institute states that children should spend time with children of varying ages that model responsible behavior.
The first part of this asset tells us that children need to be around people of all ages. This does not commonly occur at a high level in most schools where children are primarily with their age peers throughout the day. In the olden days, schools were one room and teachers taught children of all age ranges in the same room. In addition, back when our country was more prone to farming, families usually were quite large, which allowed for interaction with older and younger children. Parents should try to provide opportunities for children to interact with others through extra curricular activities that include a wide range of children. This may be difficult with sports because typically teams are segregated by age ranges.
Some ways to meet this need include:
• Have your children spend time with older or younger cousins. Teenagers can hold or rock babies and elementary age children can play a simple game like duck duck goose with toddlers.
• Volunteer with your child at a local non-profit organization.
• Sign your child up for a chess class, drama or dance group that involves a wide range of students
The second portion of this asset is very important to your child’s development. We all probably recognize that our children have at one time or another had a friend with some less than desirable qualities. We can often see what we perceive as a negative influence that the other child may have on our own children. The fact is that as our children grow their peers will have a more profound influence on them. You can help your child make appropriate decisions about friends by:
• Making play dates for your young children with other kids that seem to model the same character you are trying to instill in your children.
• Try not to criticize your children’s friends and their undesirable behavior. This will make that person even more desirable to hang out with.
• Affirm positive relationships by saying things like-I really liked the way John said “Please and Thank You” when he was at our house.
• Communicate with your children about what being a good friend means.
• Get to know your children’s friends and their parents as well.